Bea Arthur Quotes

1. My vagina can't give a monologue!


2. If you would have told me ten years ago I'd be doing this and being received like I am now, I'd say you're crazy.

3. It was like the Beatles had arrived, you know. These four elderly ladies, and they were screaming for us - screaming for us. It was wonderful.

4. There were subjects we tackled that had never been even discussed, like I had an abortion. Nobody ever talked about that.

5. (on playing "Vera Charles" in Mame 1974) You know, the real name of this show is "Vera". The only reason they changed the name was because Jerry (lyricist Jerry Herman) couldn't think of a rhyme for it. Stephen Sondheim could have.



6. Some people say I'm only happy when I'm working, or not working, I'm happy whether I'm working or not, my animals, my kids, anything.

7. From your mouth to God's ears.









8. Unfortunately opening night in Minneapolis I fell of the stage.

9. I really feel all my adult life has been spent in that little black box. If a wonderful part on TV came along I would do it. But I don't want to do a recurring role. It would just be my luck that the thing would be successful. I'm old enough now and also secure enough financially that I really only want to do what I want to do.

10. I have two enormous Dobermans, they couldn't possibly fly with me.

11. There was so much more we wanted to cover on the show, but since I couldn't get the network censors to budge, I decided to leave the show.

12. There are moments, I'll be home cooking or something, and it comes to me all at once, and I can't believe it.

13. When something is written for the stage, I think it's wrong to try to make it bigger. Very few things out there make that jump easily.

14. In a theater you have that many more seats, so that many more people, and they are feeding you, telling you how far you can go or what you can do.

15. And of course Mae West when I was very, very young, I thought she was the end.

16. I have decided that I don't want to do any more episodic television.



17. No fruit. No veggie.


18. All this time I've just wanted to be blonde, beautiful and 5 feet 2 inches tall.

19. You see I feel we did the best work we could possibly do, I don't think the writing could be any better, so why go back to it?

20. The only one I wanted to do that I didn't was Gypsy, but by the time they got around to asking me, everybody in the world had played it, so I thought now is not the time.



21. That's another reason that I don't want to do any more series. It really took up more time than I should have allotted to it.

22. (on the death of Estelle Getty in 2008) Our mother-daughter relationship was one of the greatest comic duo's ever, and I will miss her.

23. It's a very difficult thing to master. I don't think that many people have the light touch that comedy commands.



24. And I hate autobiographies, I don't know why.

25. I did a thing on Malcolm in the Middle which I loved.

26. It's a very small operation, there are five of us traveling, and I like working with different audiences, seeing how different it is from one night to the next.



27. I don't think there was ever an embarrassment, there was such love going back and forth between the audience and us, that nothing was embarrassing.

28. I guess having two kids who are bright and articulate and have great humor and are decent.

29. But of course, it's very nice to have women realize that women our age can be attractive and well groomed and wear fabulous clothes and earrings, and have a sex life.





30. I'm not playing a role. I'm being myself, whatever the hell that is.

31. I think I always sang, I always used to listen to old Bessie Smith records, and Kate Smith. And Billie Holiday. Before television when there was radio.

32. Keep fighting for animals by making compassionate, cruelty-free choices every day and encouraging those around you to do the same.


33. It's difficult, since Rue lives in New York now, and Estelle is not well at all. It's very sad. Of course, while you're working, you're like family. You swear you'll never lose each other, and then of course you do.

34. After being in the business for such a long time, I've done everything but rodeo and porno.

35. I guess just, I don't know, I didn't know I was that vibrant, I just love being alive, and I love people, and I find something wonderful everyday.




36. Down in Florida it was an older audience, and it was interesting to see how they responded to things compared to other audiences, it's been very interesting.

37. You know, I spend most of my life turning things down. There's a lot of crap out there.

38. But that's one of the nice things about doing a stage show, if something doesn't work out, you have the luxury of working on it over time.


39. It's so rewarding when you hear the audience respond.

40. I thought nobody would come just to see me sing. I knew it would have to be an evening of comedy, also.

41. Later, of course, people felt we were doing so much to further the cause of mature women.

42. At least I'm not playing other people for a change. It's a very odd place to be…I feel I'm an actress who sings a bit.

43. I actually talk a lot about how TV has changed.

44. I watch a lot of news shows and I love Nick at Night, and the Comedy Channel.

45. Making lasting gifts for animals in our estate plans is perhaps the single most important thing we can do to ensure animals have the strongest possible voice for their protection.

46. I can't imagine working without an audience.




47. I'm having so much damned fun. Especially once I heard the audience response.

48. Except I really wanted to be a small little blonde musical type in the movies. I wanted to be a starlet.

49. I'm here now in Chicago doing my own show, and I think "Golden Girls" is shown three hours a day here, and everybody loves it.





50. But I did like the fact that we did a lot of good in presenting problems that had not been tackled before on television.

51. I can't say it's autobiographical, but I do tell a number of anecdotes that I think are amusing.

52. I really cut my teeth on off-off-off Broadway shows.








53. Life is filled with a lot of stuff, you know. There is never a dull moment.

54. PETA has a proven track record of success. Each victory PETA wins for the animals is a stepping stone upon which we build a more compassionate world for all beings - and we will never give up our fight until all animals are treated with respect and kindness.

55. I'm using things that happened to me. Recollections of situations and friends.


56. I suddenly realized that comedy, for me, was just being honest, and playing it for real. I've seen so many wonderful actors who turn into creatures from another planet when they're told they are supposed to be playing comedy.

57. But I've been doing it most of my adult life, and I like the idea of a one woman show, because it's something I can do when I want to, and not to it when I don't want to do it.

58. I'd never even been to Wrigley Field. I never even enjoyed baseball that much, but I loved being there, the crowd was lovely, and they all sang with me!

59. I've been blessed with both shows, with that and with Maude, working with terrific writers and directors.

60. My opening night at the Guthrie Theater in Minneapolis... has a thrust stage. I thought I was walking into the wings, and I walked right into the pit.

61. I...was not too happy to suddenly take on this public role thrust upon me. They just assumed I was the Joan of Arc of the women's movement. And I wasn't at all. It put a lot of unnecessary pressure on me.




62. Lucy was lovely.

63. I've lost quite a bit of weight since I did Maude, but I don't see myself looking better, I think I look older. Because I am!

64. No, no. I was never that involved in anything political actually.

65. Every time you perform you learn a little bit more.

66. Except for one thing, I no longer do benefits for research, I do benefits to make sure the people who are infected are taken care of are treated, and fed and housed, and their lives made a little easier.

67. So what does it all mean? You become a popular TV personality. Fifteen million viewers weekly. Top ratings.


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