Bob Hoskins Quotes

1. (on director Francis Ford Coppola) Coppola couldn't piss in a pot.  




2. (on the nudity in "Pennies From Heaven") Piers Haggard, the director, asked me to take me clothes off - I come home, take me clothes off, put me pyjamas on and go to bed. But he says: "I want full frontal." Well, Bill Cotton (then controller of BBC1) went f**kin' bananas. "We can't have that," he says: "If you show Hoskins' c**k on the television we will get letters of complaint." Dennis (Potter, the show's writer), without a beat, says: "No Bill, you'll get letters of sympathy."

3. You imagine, the characters I play? Can you imagine me taking them home to Linda and the kids? My bags would be at the door.



4. (on "Who Framed Roger Rabbit") It really is a barmy, awful experience. Everything is blue. Things start to lose their meaning. On "Roger Rabbit" I'd go out and see weasels pulling people's hair - you really start to hallucinate to make it all work. I thought I was going mad, going f**king potty.

5. (on Neil Jordan) I think Neil is a magician. And I believe in magic.


6. You don't end up with a face like this if you're hard, do ya? This comes from having too much mouth and nothing to back it up with. The nose has been broken so many times.

7. (on Method acting) Method is a load of bollocks.

8. If you are going to do a film properly you have to give yourself completely to it.

9. Acting is a lark but I'm trying to work less. They say: "Bob I know you're trying to retire but we've got a little swan song here which is the business…" and I get talked into it. The more you don't want to work, the more work you get. I want to be at home with the wife but she doesn't want me to retire, she wants me out of the house.


10. (on the set of "Hook") We had Dustin (Hoffman) on the set apologizing for making "Ishtar". And (Steven) Spielberg apologizing for "1941" and Robin Williams jumping in and saying: "I apologize for "Cadillac Man". I was sitting there and shouted "Well, I apologize for f**king nothing!"

11. One of the things I've realized is that I am very simple. My wife asked me once if I loved her. I said: "Look love, I'm a simple man. I love you. End of story." But I guess you gotta keep saying it with women. I guess she needed reassurance.

12. Family's all I've got. I've got money, yeah, but it's my family that I care about.

13. (on being paid £20,000 for being turned down for the role of Al Capone in "The Untouchables") I phoned up (director Brian De Palma) and I said: "Brian, if you've ever got any films you don't want me in, son, you just give me a call"."

14. It's funny, going in a pub now and there's no smoke. It may be healthier but it doesn't feel right. Even the beer tastes different.

15. (on whether he'd do the BT ads again) You're joking, intcha? I couldn't believe it. It was un-be-lie-va-ble. The worst thing that happened to me was Madonna getting stalked by a fella called Bob Hoskins, and I had f*ckin' hundreds of people come up to me, and say "It's good to stalk." B*stards! Hahaha!



16. My life has taken off - my life, my career, everything. I can honestly say I've never been happier. I'm walking around thinking any minute now, 25 tons of horse-shit is going to fall on my head.

17. (in his last-ever interview in August 2012) My greatest pleasure in life is a completely appointment-less day with nothing to do. It means I can read a book, listen to the radio and do exactly as I wish. If you are going to do a film properly you have to give yourself completely to it. You can't slip in and slip out again. You give it the business. My diary now is free, completely free. That's the way I like it. I only do what I want to do.

18. It's your life, live it your way.

19. I'm very romantic. I've emptied flower shops.

20. It's not easy to walk out on a marriage and two young kids, and it's the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.

21. I came into this business uneducated, dyslexic, 5ft 6in, cubic, with a face like a squashed cabbage - and they welcomed me with open arms.

22. Quantum physics is a bit of a passion of mine. It's extraordinary. There's a branch of mathematics that is based on lunacy, and that's wonderful.

23. Monogamy is a possibility - and a necessity. Kids have got to have something they can rely on. You have got to have something you rely on.

24. Acting is the best job in the world. Look at the way they treat you when you turn up for work. They give you breakfast and a cup of tea and ask: "Are you all right" They tart up your face, you say somebody else's words, then pick up your check and go home. And you get days off. I tell you, it really is the way to live.

25. I started my career by becoming a stalker, watching women in the street, the way they greet each other. I thought if I could capture some of that expression, that depth of emotion, it will make me interesting to watch as an actor.

26. I've watched films and even forgotten I'm in them.

27. (on his sex appeal) I'm Winnie the Pooh - that's as sexy as I am. I meet ladies and they talk about their family and I talk about my family. It's about as sexy as a bag of Brussel sprouts.

28. In some ways, Britain is going to the dogs. We've got some of the worst politicians in the world.

29. (on what he'd do if he wasn't an actor) Probably rob banks.

30. (on why he would never be a Sir) No, I don't want to be one of them. No thank you very much. Why accept a tribute from a society I have nothing in common with?

31. I met a gangster and he said: "Bob, I'm glad to see one of our own doing well". I said: "One of your own? I've never tortured anybody in my life.""


32. I realized one day that men are emotional cripples. We can't express ourselves emotionally, we can only do it with anger and humor. Emotional stability and expression comes from women.

33. If it wasn't for acting I'd probably be a serial killer.

34. Actors are just entertainers, even the serious ones. That's all an actor is. He's like a serious Bruce Forsyth.








35. My own mum wouldn't call me pretty.

36. When you get to my age, what you want is the cameo. You get paid a lot of money. You fly in for a couple of weeks. Everybody treats you like the crown jewels. It's all great and if the film turns out to be a load of s***, nobody blames you.

37. (on his worst ever film) Super Mario Brothers. It was a f****** nightmare. The whole experience was a nightmare. It had a husband-and-wife team directing, whose arrogance had been mistaken for talent. After so many weeks their own agent told them to get off the set! F****** nightmare. F****** idiots.




38. (on landing his first role) I was three parts p*****. We were going to a party. And this bloke comes around and says:"Right. You're next. Have you seen the script?" And I got the leading part.

39. I am fairly rich. Money's very handy, let's face it.



40. (on working with Robert De Niro) De Niro has only shown me kindness. He's a real friend. He's helped me shop for my wife's and my kids' Christmas presents. He's invited me round to meet his granny and he's come to my house for a pot-luck diner. That really knocked my wife out. I think she was finally impressed with me.

41. I'd say I am partial to women.

42. A common misperception of me is that I am a tough guy. You don't end up looking like me if you are a tough guy. I just have a big mouth with little to back it up.



43. I'm a feminist, yes! Very strongly.

44. Most dictators were short, fat, middle-aged and hairless. Besides Danny Devito, there's only me to play them.

45. If you've got any sense of how wrong you could be then you could be very sick in the fire bucket before you go on.

46. I've played so many historical characters because most horrible dictators are short, fat, middle-aged men.


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