Danny DeVito Quotes

1. I'll watch Ricky Gervais in anything he does. The guy's hilarious.  


2. Rhea loves "Downton Abbey". The costumes are great, let's put it that way.


3. My parents worked their tails off, but we weren't the poorest people in town. Some people I went to school with, you could tell they were dirt poor.




4. I used to love Benny Hill because he's nuts. And Monty Python (Monty Python's Flying Circus).


5. If you have a good play, you have a good play. You can rely on it. When you're finding it, and then you have it and you try to explore it and try to do other things, you still can always go back to what Neil Simon gave you. I've been having a good time.

6. I'm always studying and I've been doing it for a long time now.


7. It's just an ice bucket with a bottle in it. The two flute glasses are little tray. I got to shut the curtains. I'm in my boxer shorts and shirt. I'm going to take a bath and go to bed. But I want to shut the blinds so it's really dark in the room.


8. You have to give people permission to laugh. That's why they would always cut to the banana peel in the Laurel and Hardy movies.



9. I enjoy watching Piers Morgan over here. He also took to task a couple of people who needed it during the gun-control debate. Piers is OK by me.


10. In this movie, you have all the things you love from Tim. All the magic and the whimsy and the surreal, but he also has a fantastic story of a father and son that really gets under your skin.

11. Most men somewhere in their psyche are still dragging women around by their hair. It's terrible. I have two daughters, but even before my kids were born I always thought that it was terrible.


12. I developed that for a long time. I also developed "Sugar Sweet Science" at New Line and that didn't happen. That was a boxing movie. And between all that there were a couple of other things.


13. I don't think I've been bored, ever. I've always been working on two or three things at a time; whether it was in the early days, or whatever, I was always working on something.


14. It's a first for me. It's my first nude scene.





15. What do you call 500 lawyers lying on the bottom of the Ocean? A good start…


16. The son has always felt like he was a footnote in one of the stories the father tells. The father is an amazing storyteller and one of the tales that he tells is how he met his wife.



17. I love women. I mean, I'm married, but I used to get in all kinds of trouble.


18. I never missed "Homeland" when it was on. Or "Deadwood". I watch Jon Stewart a lot, too - I'm a big leftie. And a lot of news.




19. Well, you know, I feel like it's about a lot of things. The reason that I made it was because I thought it was really funny and unique and just a different genre.

20. Edward's the kind of actor who is always nosing into it, trying to find it, looking for it, and searching and Robin is, too, but in his own way.


21. People come into your lives who you have a good time with, and time goes by and you still have a good time with them and you do stupid stuff with them. To me, that's life.




22. What Tim does is, he calls me and sends me the script. And then he sends me a drawing, an illustration of his image of me as the character. It's so great.


23. We did "Erin Brockovich," we did "Man on the Moon," we did "Living Out Loud," but now I'm going to keep going.




24. People said: "Don't do this," but you have to go with what's happening at the moment and how you feel about it. I felt it was either going to have one season and it was going to be a lot of fun, or it was going to be tough and I don't have to do it anymore.


25. I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.




26. Jersey is always with me. I was one of the lucky ones. Asbury Park is just the greatest place in the world to spend your childhood.


27. (on his "Taxi" audition) When you walk into a room, there's already a set of circumstances. In the school I went to, they talked about the "psychological room." You walk into any room, anyplace, there's a set of circumstances. As an actor, you want to walk in and make some kind of impression. I was fortunate about being remembered, because I have a certain physicality that sticks with you. In the case of "Taxi", it was fortunate because it was related to Louie - the character - and it was also related to the psychological room. Everything was working together, how they were intertwined. All the energies. I knew the script was great - it was a terrific pilot. When I walked into their office and threw the script on the coffee table and said: "Who wrote this shit?" I was satisfying all those different elements. And they either had to be on it big time, or they were not going to be on it at all. They were on it big time. That's how I got the job.


28. I'll tell you one thing, it's a cruel, cruel world.


29. It's fun to be on the edge. I think you do your best work when you take chances, when you're not safe, when you're not in the middle of the road, at least for me, anyway.



30. What you do with it and things like that, but I basically chose this after I read it because I thought it was different and funny and unique and dark - things that I like to do.


31. Of course I've got lawyers. They are like nuclear weapons, I've got em 'cause everyone else has. But as soon as you use them they screw everything up.

32. They let me do anything I want. I love the fact that I get to hang around with those guys. I go to the bar, hang around, listen to all the bullshit. They're funny. We have a good time. It's good. It's like a Jersey thing, in a way.


33. I've been to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It's a tower, and it's leaning. You look at it, but nothing happens, so then you look for someplace to get a sandwich.

34. I didn't do it because of the underlying greed that's prevailing, but it is about greed, doing the right thing at the right time using your clout when you have it and what for and what reason.


35. I'm shooting in Brooklyn, we've got all kinds of crap going on, and I'm all alone now in a big hotel suite that you can't believe the size of it and a thing sticks in my foot and I just think it's the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.





36. I have been very fortunate in my life. I have had a lot of happiness. I have a great family and I work a lot, and that's what I like to do.


37. So we see Edward as a young man on the road and he meets a giant and he brings the giant to a circus where he meets a Miss Calloway. He sees the woman of his dreams and I am the only one who knows who she is.

38. There were a lot of things you could have done that were really scary if you were not totally terrified of winding up in a four-by-six cell - which I was. There were people in my group who wound up in jail. People who did things that were over the line in the way of causing bodily harm to other folks. There were a lot of drugs. There were people who wound up getting hooked on heroin.

39. When I'm directing or producing, I like to do different kinds of stories. But you have to know what you really like, and when you do, you have to front your position.


40. I don't look ahead. I'm right here with you. It's a good way to be.






41. Wherever I am, it's a really good feeling to have that connection to people. I love to go out to talk to people and be with folks. I don't shy away from it.

42. I go out into the woods at night, the secret thing happens and the guy is obviously standing there naked in the woods. So I just went on a diet immediately. I got all those creams and started rubbing!


43. I lay on the ground, but then I can't reach - I don't want to take my foot out of the tub - but I've got to call somebody because I've got to get a band-aid or something to stop the bleeding.

44. (on directing) It's a consuming kind of thing, but if I find something that I really feel invested in, in my head and my heart, I could do that. You just have to pick your spots. I'm saying that in terms of tick-tock, tick-tock, one second closer to the grave.


45. If you're going to have kids, there's only one way to go. They have to know they're the most important things in your life, and once you're doing that, there's no way that you could not learn from them, because they just give you stuff constantly.

46. So, you pick this stuff here and this stuff there and then you see things in certain ways and you start visualizing and thank God I get the chance to do this. It's really the greatest thing in the whole wide world.


47. My father was a good man. He supported his family. He always worked hard. He had a candy store, a luncheonette kind of thing, when I was born. Then he had a pool hall. That didn't really do very well. It was small - five tables - and couldn't really compete. But he loved to play pool.



48. I am self-centered. I just adore myself.


49. I like to come to work early, take a nap. I eat around five o'clock, usually pasta. I carb up and then get ready to go out on that stage.

50. There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?


51. One of the classic experiences I had with my father was we drove from Asbury to see a guy named Mr. Blatt. Mr. Blatt had pool tables - probably had other sports equipment, too. I don't know. All I know is we drove up to New York, I think - November, December - in one of his Oldsmobiles. He always had an Oldsmobile. It was like paradise for a kid going into this place, and he ordered five slate - top four - and-a-half-by-nine tables, which fit - just fit- in the little store he rented. And he picked out the felt, he picked out the balls, the cue balls, the chalk, the counters for the straight pool counters, pill bottles for pill pool. Picked all this stuff out. I was twelve, maybe.

52. This big part flies off on the floor. The other part goes like this and lands in my foot! Standing up! It's standing in my foot! Right in the side of my foot. The flute glass. I think I'm like in one of my own pictures.


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