Aubrey Plaza Quotes

1. I'd like to be more patient! I just want everything now. I've tried to meditate, but it's really hard for me to stay still. I'd like to try to force myself to do it, because everybody says how wonderful meditation is for you, but I can't shut my mind up. So patience and learning is the key.

2. I wish you had real periods so we could eat chocolate Rice Dream and watch Hocus Pocus together.

3. Stop trying to make me wear those quilted brown leather Phillip Lim hot pants. I'm scared, and you know it.



4. I'm like that person who hates going to magic shows - and I love magic, I love wizards - but going to a show where there is any possibility of audience participation is a nightmare for me.

5. I want people to like me but not at my expense.

6. When I'm on the couch, I usually have the TV on and my MacBook Air nearby. And sometimes, when my ADD is really kicking in, I have my iPad too. And my iPhone. And a magazine that I haven't gotten to. And a book under the pillow to my left.

7. This business manipulates and screws up women's and men's views of what we're all supposed to look like My gender-bender style is apparently a bore.

8. Louis C. K. is one of my all time favorite standup comedians.

9. With stand-up, it doesn't matter who you are. If the audience claps because they love your movies, that clapping stops after five seconds, and then it's your job to make them laugh.

10. I get really weird when I'm not working. I have to keep working.

11. My people would love it if I smiled more, if I was more "approachable."

12. Sarcasm is weird. Even not in acting, in life I feel like "sarcastic" is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I meet someone, it's almost like they feel like they have to also be sarcastic, but it can sometimes just come off as mean if it's not used in the right way.



13. I was an intern for Samba Post-Its and one day my job was to literally wallpaper a bathroom with Post-Its. That was one of the worst things I've ever had to do.

14. There are always parts of me that come out in the characters that I play - it's the only thing I have to work with and to draw off of.



15. I can't say I follow politics extremely closely, but I'm definitely aware of what's going on in the world.

16. I was like the only diverse kid in my high school, and I'm half-Puerto Rican. But yeah, I have a huge family and tons of cousins in Puerto Rico. We actually hung out with them last summer, and it was awesome. But I wish my grandfather had taught my Dad Spanish when he was younger so he could've taught me when I was younger, and sometimes he does, too. It's a shame.

17. I don't have any regrets or I wouldn't be the person I am today.

18. Until about sixth grade I was pretty quiet and wouldn't consider myself a class clown during those years. Once I got into middle school I was definitely one of the funny ones. I was always doing some type of weird public prank, dressing up in strange costumes, or doing characters. I was definitely a weirdo. I don't know where it came from. It just kind of happen out of nowhere. I think if you talk to people that I went to school with they'd probably tell you I was a bit of a class clown.

19. My grandfather came over from Puerto Rico and raised his kids speaking English so that it would be easier for them to assimilate.


20. I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we judge one another, when the truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the same exact molecules.

21. The Internet is pretty much how I got where I am.

22. There's a lot of times where we'll come up with something on the spot, and the writers will catch it in the editing room, and then they'll be like "Wait a minute, this could turn into something."


23. I just want to keep finding special characters that I feel like I can bring to life and characters that are real and not superficial.

24. I'm a film improv comedy nerd. I was really into knowing all the improvisors that were coming out of Chicago. I don't know if that's geeky or not, but I guess it could be to some people. And I'm really into Judy Garland. I listen to her records a lot instead of cool music. I don't know if that's geeky either or just really strange.

25. I'm totally an anxious mess all the time. There's a constant dialogue going on in my brain, and it's just reminding me of all the failures that I have had, and all of the things I need to do, and all of the things I'm not doing good enough.

26. I have been obsessed with Judy Garland since I was 12. I don't know why. It's really weird how I got into her. I had to do this project in seventh grade on decades. My decade was the '60s, I think, the decade she died. Some people said that she killed herself and some people said that it was an accidental overdose. For some reason, I got all Nancy Drew-obsessed with trying to figure out how she died. Now I know everything about her, in a creepy way. My room was covered with pictures of her.

27. I love great acting, as nerdy as that sounds.

28. You'll never know more about Judy Garland than I do. I have been obsessed since I was 10. And, no, not "Dorothy" Judy. I'm talking "1960s-singing-her-heart-out-at-the-fucking-Palace" Judy. Duh.


29. Am I famous? Sometimes I get really great shampoo for free. The more stuff I do the more free stuff I get, which is kind of nice.

30. Tina Fey is one of my heroes.

31. People don't realize how little it takes to change our world for the better.


32. The only pressure comes form myself. I put pressure on myself at first just because I was intimidated. When I made Amy Poehler laugh, it was a big thing for me. She's been one of my role models since high school, because she started UCB, which is what I wanted to do since high school.

33. I wish I was fluent. My grandfather came over from Puerto Rico and raised his kids speaking English so that it would be easier for them to assimilate. My family speaks to me in Spanish, and I respond in English.

34. There's no photo-shoot academy. If there was, I'd probably be kicked out.

35. I like sitting at outdoor restaurants; it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I'm about to take a bite of something.

36. I mean, sometimes I hate interviews because I always feel like I sound stupid.

37. I'm not, like, Daniel Day Lewis. Yet. I will get there!

38. You'll say to yourself: "I shouldn't be watching a girl learning how to give a hand job." But girls give hand jobs sometimes, so deal with it.

39. In a way, I think we've seen enough nudity. It's getting to where we're all numb, and in a way, I'm against all the sexuality that's all over the place.

40. When I was living in New York, I would only take jobs that could be funny - never for practical or smart financial reasons. I'd be like: "It would be hilarious if I worked in a bowling alley."

41. I obviously bring all of my insecurities along with me to any role that I tackle.


42. A lot of independent films offer a harsh reality check.

43. I'm not a super emotional person, so that's one reason I love acting - it makes me deal with myself in that kind of way.

44. Why is my Joy Behar impersonation the only one you ever ask me to do? (I know it's good. Shut up.)

45. When I was doing comedy in New York, before I was in movies, I was never known as the deadpan actress. I was just a comedienne.


46. I'm not super comfortable in my skin. I have to make it work for me, and that usually amounts to making it uncomfortable for everyone else.

47. When you improvise, you work off the laughs from the audience, but when you step on stage to do standup, it's silent.

48. I'm pretty good at weaseling my way into a job, even if I have no business being there.

49. Well, I was obsessed with Judy Garland growing up. Like, obsessed.

50. Writing is hard - writing is the hardest.

51. I've felt depressed many times in my life, so I can draw on those times in my life when I need to.

52. I like my name. My mom named me after a song by the 1970s group Bread. So, it's meaningful, and I like the song. It's a love song - kind of - but it's kind of depressing and dark.

53. I don't let myself "surf" on the Web, or I would probably drown.

54. I think being on a TV show is amazing but also, people get kind of used to seeing you a certain way and so it becomes a challenge to break free from that in a way.

55. If I have the option, I always read the paper or a book or something I can touch and destroy in my own hands.

56. I would never do a commercial for something that is embarrassing, and I think that people maybe have a different perspective on what is embarrassing or not. Some people think doing a Revlon hair commercial is really cool. To me, that's embarrassing, but World of Warcraft - not embarrassing, very cool.

57. I am a Netflix/DVR junkie. I don't like to watch TV without a plan.

58. It's such a thing now, people making fun of other people on the Internet.

59. When I was in high school I was a really huge "SNL" fan. I remember the cast around the time I started watching it - Will Ferrell, Ana Gasteyer, Molly Shannon, Cheri O'Teri, Tracy Morgan. I did research to find out how people got on the show. Their bios always said they came from an improv team, so I started taking classes.



60. When I came to Hollywood, my whole motivation was to be loved and appreciated, which is the stupidest thing in the world…You think: "If I'm famous, everyone will love me". The truth is, when you're famous, some people will love you and some people will hate you for the exact same thing.


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