Benny Hill Quotes

1. Behind every successful woman, there is a surprised man.  

2. Live each day as if it were your last…because one day, you'll be right.

3. When God made man, she was only joking.

4. Roses are reddish, Violets are bluish, If it weren't for Christmas, Wed all be Jewish.

5. I'm the one who gets the laughs!

6. Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?


7. Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?

8. Do unto others, then run.


9. Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand.

10. I thought I couldn't afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: Oh well, and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.

11. I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.

12. Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.



13. That's what show business is, sincere insincerity.


14. Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason...now I have a reason.

15. The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.

16. Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.







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